The Biggest and Most Epic Calvin and Hobbes Episode EVER! Transcript
(The episode starts with a white screen,then the title words start coming from random places) Narrator:The Biggest and Most Epic Calvin and Hobbes Episode EVER! Scene 1 (Calvin is asleep when he hears a knock at the door.) Calvin:I'm coming! I'm coming! (Calvin opens the door,and gets caught in a sack. He is thrown into the kidnapper's car.) Calvin:GET ME OUT! Kidnapper:Alright! Geez! (The kidnapper takes off the sack.) Calvin:Who are you? Kidnapper:Name's Sudeikis. Jason Sudeikis. Calvin: As in the comedian? Sudeikis:Precisely. Calvin:Where are we going? Sudeikis:Our secret lair. Calvin:Who's our? Sudeikis:Hollywood's biggest acting names. I am the leader of the SASTTDTMD. Calvin:What's the SASTTDTMD? Sudeikis:You have tons of questions,Calvin. SASTTDTMD stands for Secret Actor Society To Take Down The Movie Director. Calvin:The Movie Director? Sudeikis:He's a homicidal Steven Spielberg look-alike and is capturing all the Hollywood actors and making them his slaves. Those of us who remained,followed my leadership and went into hiding in Glenview. Calvin:OK,nice story,Sudeikis,but I need to go home. Sudeikis:No. We saw Calvin and Hobbes:The Movie. After the movie,Paul Rudd brought up the idea of having you and all of your friends to help us. Mr. Jacobson: Calvin! Calvin: Dad! How did you get here? Mr.Jacobson:Sudeikis captured me too. Sudeikis:Let's get your friends and throw this...homicidal maniac with your mom. (They drive to Calvin's house,where Hobbes,Mike,Zoe,Wichita,Little Rock,and Mrs.Jacobson are looking for Calvin and Mr.Jacobson) Wichita: What the... Mike: Where have you three been? Mr.Jacobson:Kidnapped by Jaosn Sudeikis. Calvin:Dad,please shut up. Sudeikis:You see,Calvin and... (Mrs.Jacobson whacks him with a frying pan.) Sudeikis:OW! What was that for? Mrs. Jacobson:You kidnapped them. Sudeikis: Well,I wanted to keep your husband at the house... (Mrs.Jacobson whacks him with the baseball bat again.) Mr.Jacobson: Honey, please stop. (Mrs.Jacobson stops abruptly.) Mr.Jacobson:If you need my son and his friends, then take them. Me and my wife will get in our car and follow you. Call us if you need anything. Sudeikis:Fine. Calvin. Get your friends and get in my car. We're going to the base. (The gang hops in Sudeikis's car and they drive away.) Little Rock: THIS IS EXCITING! Sudeikis:Yeah,shut up. We need to formulate a plan. Mike: What plan? Scene 2 (The gang arrives at an abandoned baseball field.) Sudeikis:Alright,this is our secret lair. Mike:The old baseball field? Calvin:It's abandoned. How can this hold Hollywood's biggest acting names? Sudeikis:Watch this. (Sudeikis presses a button that opens a hole in the ground.) Sudeikis:Alright,come on! GERONIMO!!! (Sudeikis jumps in the hole. The gang follows) Hobbes:WHOA!!! (The gang lands in the secret base.) Calvin:Wow,Sudeikis,you weren't kidding! Sudeikis:Everyone,meet the Calvin and Hobbes gang! Calvin and Hobbes gang,this is Hollywood's biggest acting names. Mike:Interesting. Sudeikis:I will introduce them in alphabetical order. Meet Elizabeth Banks,Kristen Bell,Halle Berry,Leslie Bibb,Kate Bosworth,Gerard Butler,Bobby Cannavale,Common,Kieran Culkin,Josh Duhamel,Anna Faris,Will Ferrell,James Franco,Morgan Freeman,Jordan Fry,Richard Gere,Hugh Jackman,Greg Kinnear,Johnny Knoxville,Justin Long,Seth MacFarlane,Kate McKinnon,Christopher Mintz-Plasse,Chloe Grace Moretz,Chris Pratt,Dennis Quaid,Ryan Reynolds,Seth Rogen,Paul Rudd,Liev Schreiber,Seann William Scott,Emma Stone,Naomi Watts and Kate Winslet. (inhales deeply). Boy that's a mouthful.